I Want to Help the Environment, But….

I was at my second home, The Home Depot, a few weeks ago. I have a room to paint and needed primer (there is no paint color selected yet, don’t bother me with details). I see this new low-odor, low-VOC version of an old friend, Kilz. “What the heck. They make good stuff.” Besides, the wife and kids like to sleep without smelly paint fumes (to each their own, right?). Of course it cost more, but that is the price you pay (apparently) to be good to Mother Earth.

I open a can to find the ingredients completely separated. No problem, I’m a tool hound. Cordless drill with paint stirrer coming up. So I stir. A lot. I put the lid back on and dance the paint can shimmy. The stuff never mixed thoroughly. The stuff either dripped and ran, or dried mid stroke/roll creating blobs.

This low-odor stuff smells. Odd. To me it was a fish smell. My wife smelled crackers. As promised on the can, any odor detected did indeed fade. From the room I was in. Apparently paint chemists have created a way for odor molecules to find another room. The rest of the house smelled terrible.

No water cleanup so I have to clean all my paint tools with mineral spirits and other volatile agents. The walls will need a sanding before real paint goes on. I got less than half the normal coverage. I used more than two gallons, where one should have been more than enough.

Green is a big, in-your-face buzzword these days. Everyone is on the bandwagon. While some are true innovations, such as building houses like they did before central AC to gain passive energy savings, some are just stupid. And I am talking to you “new environmentally friendly shaped plastic water bottle people.” I squint in my hallway because of the lame compact fluorescent. It is supposed to save me many dollars each year, except I keep turning on a table lamp with multiple incandescent bulbs to read my mail.

Okay I have a point. Saving the environment is a good idea. Really. Now that I have children it really does matter. But I am going back to acrylic primers and good old Benjamin Moore paint. I may even take that stupid bulb out. If anyone really wants to save the environment, they should go after the marketing genius that came up with the ridiculous toy packaging we have today. Multiple plastic shrink wrap levels and cardboard inserts and those DAMNED WIRE TIES. Just to show the kids EVERY SINGLE PIECE included in the package. “Wow! Polly Pocket sure has a lot of shoes!”

Why, when I was a kid (shut up), our toys came in a simple box with a painting on it. The toy never could do what the artwork showed and the many extra parts were required to come close, but by gum, you kept the toy in the box until it was shredded dust, further keeping the landfills empty. So let’s get the movement going! Get rid of the wasteful packaging! Save Mommies and Daddies sanity on Christmas morning!! Okay, I have an ulterior motive and I am using the Green bandwagon. Shoot me. But you use lead-free bullets, I live near a school.